2020 Resolutions
2019 was a year of monumental stalling. Though I had many goals for the year, myself, my creative and mental development, I accomplished very few of them. In short, I cut myself a LOT of slack. In many ways, this was good for me. I think the reality of growing up surrounded by a specific concept of "success" means it's hard to give yourself the space to take care of yourself. But in other ways, I allowed myself to take absolutely no risks in the name of self care and protection. I didn't step outside of my comfort zone, and I certainly didn't push the limits I knew I was capable of pushing.
This sounds really deep but really I'm speaking to my resolutions:
For not accomplishing each of the above (PERfectly well within reach)*, I had an excuse. And frankly, the year went by so quickly I didn't have time to dwell on the excuses I made for myself. But as the year came and went and I've watched the ones I love around me reflect on their 2019, I've realized that self care can go too far when you don't set yourself limits. I wanted so much for myself in 2019 (as evidenced by my THOUSANDS of to do list items, from as superficial as "dump milk" to as ambitious as "art piece around women I find inspirational?" So for 2020 I'm giving myself another chance. A do-over. The (almost) same resolutions, but super-charged. No excuses this year. Let’s see how this goes…
*Explanations/excuses below:
read 52 books: Made it to 22/52 books! I saw that A Rod read 52 books in a year and so I thought I could also do so. Then I remembered I have no idea what books he even read (they might have been short? they might have been audiobooks? who knows!). Also he does not have a standard 9-5 job, so. Giving myself another chance on this one and coming up with a list of books I’m looking to read, and others I want to re-read. I think that will help with the overall # goal.
try to mind how nitpicky and naggy you’re being: Did pretty good at this one! Checked myself constantly. Did not wreck myself.
do a dry month: Failed miserably. Picking April this year because I’ve got several excuses from January to March.
keep track of budget and expenses: Kept a really very good record from January until May then dropped off drastically. My spreadsheet was seriously impressive, but it took massive amounts of upkeep. I think somewhere in the middle of my aggressively color coded spreadsheet and spending money with abandon would be good, probably.
challenge yourself artistically: Another fail. I wanted to do the things I thought looked cool on Instagram (started three cross-stitches) but I honestly ended up spending a crap-load of time on Instagram. Spawned a thought that I should ban aforementioned Instagram from my life.
make more things: Sort of hand-in-hand with 5. At one point I tried to make clay earrings, then never completed that or anything else I wanted to. I have a mile long list of things I want to do in 2020 though - hoping again, that a specific list will help this time.
try to reduce waste: I don’t remember making much of a conscious effort on this resolution last year, but our environment and general demise as a planet did spend a lot of time on the forefront of my mind. I’m not bringing this resolution back because I don’t think it’s as simple as a resolution, it’s honestly a larger problem around waste and how we contribute to that as a society, and setting goals to create change within large bodies like corporations that are quickly corroding our planet.
watch more movies: I watched so MANY movies! I started a letterboxd! WHOO! This year I’m committing to taking myself on self-dates to the movies at least 10 times (this is because my mom gifted me 10 movie ticket vouchers, and also, why not.) Also committing myself to review the movies I watch (and re-watch) even if they’re simple silly reviews.
try dating as a concept: Another massive fail. On the flip-side, I did accept dating as a concept into my life. I guess in 2020 I will actually try it.
work on your cynicism and negativity: Another success! Like #2 I did check myself a lot. But this has now mentally become a part of who I am, which, frankly, is great.
shower even when you’re too sleepy: This one was a bit of a joke addition - when I was a kid I resolved to shower every day of the year, and I was actually sad when I broke it about a week into the year. I thought I’d add it back to poke fun at my 10 year old self. On the plus side, I showered plenty last year.
make time for working out: Didn’t do as great at this as I planned. I have moved to a new, more active-friendly neighborhood, and I’m pledging to do things and get outside at least 200 times this year! If I cannot go outside due to rain or sleet or snow (which would be cool) I will go to the gym. Duh.
learn to cook one new thing a month: I learned six new recipes last year! Which is more my speed, anyway. So I’m aiming for another six this year! At the time of publish I’ve already learned one that I know will be heavy in my rotation. Pretty pumped.
cook breakfast and pay for less coffee: I absolutely never cooked myself breakfast. Actually, I did, twice. In the week I wrote my resolutions. So, this one has to come back. However, I did drink a lot of free work coffee, so I consider that a massive success. To step it up a notch, this year, I’m going to learn to make my own drip coffee (I recognize this is not actually difficult. I am hardly an adult, I know.)
one clothing item a month?: This resolution was like a halfie. The question mark makes it clear I hardly wanted to do this but knew I needed to. With shoes included, I attempted to buy only one apparel item a month. I made it until October! Then the sales hit. The holidays. The parties. The glitz, the glam, the sparkles. But hey. 10 months strong! This year I’m going to try making a clothing item a month… January is half over so. Going poorly so far.